30 Before 30

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you do NOT put any grand expectations on any age.  Age is just a number.  I put a whole lot of pressure on the age 26.  That was my age.  I knew, at the age of 10, that by 26 I would SURELY have landed a husband, my dream job, and the perfect house with a perfect picket fence.  26 came and went with no husband, no dream job, and no perfect house.  Of course, I had little to no desire for a husband or a perfect house with a perfect picket fence.  And the dream job thing... well... I'm working on it.

SO--when I saw this post by a friend on Facebook entitled:  Turning 30:  30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know, I got real mad.  My inner monologue:

"Oh really?  EVERY woman should have these things and know these things??? What a broad generalization!  As if there isn't already ENOUGH pressure on me from society to stop being so bad at this "life" thing!  You can take your list and SHOVE IT."


And then I clicked on the link.  Of COURSE I clicked on the link.  I need SOMEONE to tell me what I'm supposed to be doing, so why not this list that the Huffington Post has deemed "WHAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW."

And then the list blew me away.  The list made me feel hopeful.  The list made me excited for 30.

Not that I'm putting pressure on 30.  (Ok... I'm probably putting pressure on 30.) But that I feel like I'm on track to be ok with myself when I do hit 30.  30 is a mere 2 years and 7 months away.  Buh.  I'm just going to disregard my disbelief in that and accept it, and move on to my point. (I'll get there eventually, I swear.)

I don't know if this is just today--if it's just because I'm full of hope because I mailed out my headshot, resume, and postcards for my upcoming showcase to a crap ton of agents, so the hope is lingering instead of being dashed into the ground by crushing silence on their part (which is far worse than straight out rejection)--but I hope not.  I regained a shred of hope the other day when I met with my accountability partner.  We hadn't met since March, and both of us were feeling really down in the dumps.  But after some espresso and goal setting for the week, we both left with a sunnier disposition.  I was able to face my survival job with a smile again, because I felt like I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.   I hit some twists and turns in the tunnel this past month that blocked my view, but I feel like... maybe it's there again?

And then... I have my yoga dreams to keep me going, as well.  If I do decide I can't pursue this acting thing anymore (mamma's not givin' up yet!), I know that I can open a yoga studio.  I feel less lost.

So the list.  Things that stood out on the list for me:

6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.

7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.

I used to be such a goody two shoes. And that was good. But I'm glad I spent some time being a little more of a rebel... living life for the fun of it. Maybe it delayed by career a bit... but maybe not. And I think I'm a more well rounded person because of it. And I have memories to relish when I'm an old lady in her rocking chair. (Or maybe I'll be a rebel without a cause when I'm an old lady... who knows?!)  And now that I've started an IRA and am saving for when I am that crazy old lady... it makes me feel more secure in my life now.

14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.

I have my yoga. I have my nutrition/eating plan. I use lotions and shiz. I fully expect my 30's to be a beautiful time.

15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.

This phrasing made me feel so good: "A solid start..." It's ok that I'm still a little lost at sea. I truly feel like I'm on the brink of a break through. By the time I'm 30--I WILL be in charge.

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.

Ok. I'm well practiced at this one. I've lived alone 3 out of the 7 years of my 20's thus far.  I remember my first apartment I got with my best friend.  We decided to paint the living room pink--it actually was inspired by the Victoria's Secret shopping bag (or what it used to look like):  pink on pink.  Light pink with darker pink stripes.  Our logic was this was the only living room we were going to have as single ladies.  HA.  5 living rooms later... I'm still glad we had those pink stripes.


13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.


This is a lesson I've struggled with my whole life. Gotta learn not to take it personally.

15. Why they say life begins at 30 

I can't wait.

And the most important thing I need to take care of before February 10, 2015:

4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.

Cause right now... those things are just in a sad state.