I usually dread Winter. A lot. And at this point I can feel Winter creeping closer and closer, and with each passing day, as the days get shorter, my chest tightens with anticipation and anxiety. But right now I'm trying to focus on the fact that I LOVE Thanksgiving (totally already planning my Delicate Princess Tummy Thanksgiving), I'm getting two new beautiful nieces this Winter (/Fall), and maybe, just maybe, Winter in New York is a beautiful thing that I haven't been able to enjoy because of my negative Nancy, depression clouded view of life that I've had for the past three Winters. Maybe I'll be able to enjoy the Winter Wonderland this year (after all, if Dean Martin calls it a Winter wonderland, it MUST be true)!
So, all that being said, I've been meaning to come in here and update the webosphere about my goings on. I just haven't gotten around to it. But this morning, my book of daily meditations gave me the perfect set up for everything I want to say, so I'm taking that as a sign and a jumping off point for sharing.
From Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey (Daily Meditations for Women): Quick note about this. I have recently begun a journey towards a more beautiful relationship with myself and my higher power. I don't mean a Christian God or a Buddhist God or a Native American God or a Greek God. I just mean... my Higher Power. I truly believe in my Higher Power (or HP, as I lovingly refer to Him), and I'm truly working on getting closer to Him. I will devote a whole post to this, for those of you who care, but one of my steps towards this relationship is beginning every day with prayer and meditation, and I find this to be a WONDERFUL meditation book for women. Anyway... Quick note done. Onto the meditation:
"The secret of seeing is to sail on solar wind. Hone and spread your spirit, till you yourself are a sail, whetted, translucent, broadside to the merest puff." ~Annie Dillard.
Our progress today, and certainly our serenity, is enhanced by our willingness to accept all that we are blessed with today. Not only to accept, but to celebrate, trusting that these events are moving us toward our special destiny.
Flowing with the twists and turns in our lives, rather than resisting them, guarantees smooth sailing, helps us to maximize our opportunities, increases our serenity. Accepting our powerlessness over all but our own attitude is the first step we need to take toward finding serenity.
Resistance, whether it is against a person or situation in our lives, will compound the problem as we perceive it. We can believe in the advantages for growth that all experiences offer. We can sail with our experiences. We can be open to them so they can carry us to our destination. We can trust, simply trust, that all is well and in our favor, every moment.
When I began this quest for balance one year ago today, I can only imagine what I would have said if I'd read this post. Probably laughed at it, mocking myself as a religious fanatic using a Higher Power as a crutch to deal with life. I was stronger than that. I knew what I wanted. I was going after it.
The funny thing is, none of that was working. I was fruitlessly chasing a carrot... except I didn't even really know what the carrot was. I thought it was a carrot, but usually is was really Jameson or a bad decision that thrust me further into a state of unhappiness.
I certainly never thought I would be working on a food blog that I was extremely passionate about. I couldn't forsee that I would be teaching improv in Long Island to kids. And I certainly couldn't imagine going back to school.
That's right folks, Brittany is going back to school. I'll be studying online, and though I'm currently narrowing down which school I'll go to, I'm planning on getting certified in Holistic Nutrition, and then working towards a Masters in Nutrition. I'm not giving up on acting, though I'm switching gears a bit. Assuredly, some people may read this and scoff, saying that I am giving up and "falling back" on this... but I see it as further growth. I was given the gift of a highly scientific mind as well as a highly artistic mind, and I am following both. I will continue studying and teaching improv, I am working on a theatre collaborative with a group that we're going to submit to festivals next year, and I'm going to be a holistic nutritionist.
I am trusting my experiences. This blog has developed so easily. It's been a lot of work, but I feel like the little yellow path is being laid out brick by brick before me as I go along. I'm not beating my head against a wall, like I have been with this acting business. Acting has become a business to me. I lost sight of the art. I'm so thrilled to rediscover my passion for acting, as well as perpetuate this passion for healthy eating that has been sparked inside me.
Who knows? Maybe I'll end up with a network television show in relation to my blog. Maybe I'll have a business as a Holistic Nutrition Consultant. Maybe I can't even IMAGINE where this is going to take me. I'm not going to resist. I'm going to accept these gifts and use them.
And I haven't felt this joyous about life in years.