When the Student is Ready...

Hey y'all!! Happy New Year! (a month late...) 

Happy Ground Hog Day!! (more appropriate)  That darned lil ground hog saw his shadow.  Or didn't. Whichever one means 6 weeks of more Winter.  Though... this Winter has been so mild that I can't complain.  Not at all. But who cares, really?  Talking about the weather is so boring.  It's what you talk about when you have nothing else to talk about.  (Admittedly, it gets me through a lot of conversations.)

Oh man, guys. I've had a lot of caffeine today, so I apologize if as you read this you start thinking, "man, this blog is nonsensical/crazy/what is she TALKING ABOUT???"  I'm already thinking that.  But bear with me.  I have a lot of things in my head.  A LOT.

I started this blog 6 months ago because I felt lost.  I WAS lost.  (Which is why I felt that way.)  So, if you'll remember, I thought, hey, why not start a quest like Frodo... granted, mine was a self imposed quest for balance while his quest was thrust upon him to destroy ultimate evil... but lets not split hairs.  For me, it has been an epic quest.  I had no idea that that tiny idea was going to flourish into what it has.  This little blog has saved me.  No, I didn't blog a lot during this journey (woops), but the fragment of an idea that it represents is what saved me.

I have never really understood that age old saying: "When the student is ready, the teacher appears" (or something like that... from Karate Kid... or something.)  NOW I do.  And y'all, this student is FINALLY ready (bout time, right?) and all kinds of teachers are appearing.

A couple of months ago I was on the phone SOBBING to my mother that I had lost all hope.  And  I really thought I had.  I have never felt that way before... it was like... I had to make myself an empty vessel... just completely hit rock bottom so that I could truly appreciate what was coming my way.  I almost don't want to revisit that day in my mind, because it was like everything that I believed in died.  But that day is done.  I do believe.  I believe there is love in the world meant just for me.  I believe that I have something special to do.  AND I AM BACK ON TRACK TO FINDING IT.

It's so hard when you're in that dark place to ever imagine being hopeful, happy, or alive... ever again.  And it's taken a LOT of work to get back to myself.  The positive girl who almost always smiles... who inspires other people to smile... who smiles to strangers on the street and says "bless you" when someone sneezes.  Who truly believes that there is good in everyone, and she can find it!  The girl who knows what she wants and GETS IT.  The girl who says she's gonna do something and then DOES IT.  I lost her.  And I'm willing to bet that hard days will hit me again, and she may start to stray... but I refuse to lose her ever again.  And I won't.  Know how I know that?  A few reasons.

1) I'm writing this blog to remind me. 
2)  In singing, acting, drawing, dancing, cooking, swimming, skateboarding, quilting, kayaking... ANYTHING IN LIFE... there is a technique.  A way of approaching the skill that makes it easy and something that you can call upon at any time.  And guess what?  I learned the technique to being happy!  It's a SKILL, and, just like any other skill, some people are born with it.  I definitely was.  Others have to try very hard to learn a skill, if they are passionate enough to want it.  I was lucky enough to be born with it and then raised in a home where I was blessed enough not to have to WORK to maintain that happiness. But life is hard.  And it throws you curve balls.  If it didn't, you wouldn't appreciate the good times.  So when I was thrown hard times... I literally had no idea how to deal.  But I'm taking an online course right now that's called:  "Magical Manifesters: Find your gold.  Create the Blueprint.  Make it Happen.  A digital course for creative individuals."  It might sound hokey to you... but it has literally given me the tools to maintain my positive outlook on life.  And I am so very grateful.  And I am still learning.

So one of my goals with this course is to write a blog once a week.  So... there.  It's out there.  I'm gonna do it!  And share with you this journey.  Because it is blowing my mind.