Deck the Halls (Not the JERKS)

Man.  How did I function on a daily basis before I went to yoga?

I feel like I am constantly barraged by the stupidest people in NYC.  Probably that's because I work in a bar.  Thanks to my yoga practice, I'm much more capable of handling it these days--my blood pressure doesn't boil quite as high, and I manage to smile at people instead of cursing at them or making rude hand gestures behind their backs.  I know it's sad that that feels like an accomplishment... but  this city has a way of making the nicest person become a foul mouthed, rage-filled, JERK.

I'm proud to say that 9 times out of 10, I return people's rudeness with a smile.  Still working on that last one... to make it a 10/10.

However... it's CHRISTMAS!  And what is Christmas if not a time to write a letter to dear Santa Claus?  (Side bar:  SantaCon.  I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's a day when people dress like Santa/Snowmen/Elves/Penguins/Christmas presents/anything else imaginable and then pub crawl all over NYC--starting as early as 8 am--I worked the evening of SantaCon at my bar.  I have never seen so many drunk, inappropriate, handsy, frat-tastic, and STUPID Santas in one room.  I am not addressing this letter to any of those Santas.  Should it get intercepted in the webosphere by one of THOSE Santas, please send it to the North Pole.  Where the real Santa is.  Thank you.)

Dear Santa,

I haven't been a very good girl this year.  But it wasn't my fault.  I tried really hard to be a very good girl, but it took me a long time to figure my life out.  I made some mistakes, but I think I paid for them... and I've changed my ways and become a much more whole person.  I'm ending the year as a VERY good girl who has matured a heck of a lot and figured some big stuff out.  For that reason, I hope you've removed me from the "naughty" list, and put me on the "nice" list. Also... I only have a few requests this year for Christmas... but they might be rather hefty.  I hope you can deliver.

1.  PLEASE LET THE WEATHER BE CONDUCIVE FOR FLYING ON CHRISTMAS EVE, DECEMBER 28, AND JANUARY 1ST.  If any of my flights are missed/delayed... my entire holiday will be ruined.  I'm so scared that there will be some crazy blizzard on Christmas Eve that will make me miss Christmas at home.  My connecting flight is through Chicago... the weather be crazy there.  Please don't be crazy.  And then, on the 28th I'm flying through Atlanta to St. Louis to get to my friend's wedding.  PLEASE DON'T HAVE FREAK WEIRD WEATHER IN ATLANTA.  Then on January 1st I fly back to NY--it's a direct flight... but PLEASE DON'T HAVE A FREAK WEIRD BLIZZARD IN NYC (though I guess that wouldn't really be very weird, it would be appropriate... but I still don't want it).  I have a very important audition on January 2nd that I DO NOT WANT TO MISS.  So please get your weather elves on that one.

2.  Please get me some representation.  I know this might take some time, so I don't expect it to be underneath my Christmas tree... but I've set a goal for 2012 to have representation by May.  That will be nearly a year after I first began seeking representation... and I think a good goal.  It's so frustrating to see agents working with people I know I am just as talented as, but also knowing that I'm not very commercially appealing for representation.  There are a million blonde, cute, girl next door types out there... I just have to work harder to prove that I am marketable and worth them representing.  So, dear Santa, can you PLEASE send an agent or agents to my showcase that would be interested in representing me?  It would make the whole process a whole lot easier.

3.  It's almost time to renew my lease.  I really don't want my rent to be raised... so it would be really fantastic if you could send a little elf to Fran, my landlord (of the meow mix "meow meow meow meow" campaign), to negotiate my lease renewal.  If she raises my rent... well.. I'll have to resign, because moving would probably cost as much as the raise in the rent... but... I'd really rather not have to pay any more per month.

I think that's all... as I grow up, I desire less and less presents on Christmas (side bar:  I still love presents, so ya know, take that with a grain of salt) and spend more time looking forward to the traditions of Christmas.  And especially just being with my family.  I'm really excited to see my two big sisters this year, and so happy that I'm blessed enough to be able to take time off work to travel and spend time with loved ones. 

However... I really would love a Kindle Fire...